(SCB) Jokes: Linux Tech Call

For those of you not blessed/cursed by living on UNH campus, Telecomm has offered those of us in the dorms direct PPP lines. They connect to our serial ports and run at a nifty (for the dorms anyways) 38400. Of course, being the brilliant folks they are, they give you a 16 bit version of winsock ('Lose '95 won't do it's built in PPP thing through a serial port), so you can't run a lot of software. I managed to get the upgraded version for 32 bit connections, so it works swell now. The problem comes in when I tried to get my linux box hooked up.

I got the ppp daemon compiled, the script written - everything seemed keen. The problem started when I tried running it. It connects - I can resolve host names, etc, but for some reason, data transfers REALLY slow for some things ... like telnet. You can't even telnet TO my machine at all. The weird thing is that ping works fine.

My next move after playing with it for a while? Call the help desk!

Here's how it went:

(after waiting for about 20 minutes on hold)
Supposed Tech: "Hi - how can I help you?"
Me: "Hi - I'm trying to hook up my linux box via PPP and I'm running into some problems. It works fine under '95, but I can't seem to get it to connect right under linux. I can resolve hostnames and even ..."
T: "Um, sir - what kind of computer is it?"
Me: "IBM compatible. Specifically, an Ambra."
T: "Ok - what happens when you try running Trumpet Winsock?"
* Slapping my forehead... *
Me: "This is linux. It doesn't run Trumpet Winsock."
T: "Oh - it's a DOS program?"
* sigh *
Me: "No - it's an operating system. Trumpet runs fine under '95." (Well, after I upgraded to a 32 bit version on my own, anyways)
T: "Well, have you tried running this program under '95 then?"
* aggh!! *
Me: "No - it IS an operating system. It doesn't run under another operating system."
T: "Oh. Ok - so what happens when you try to run Winsock under it?"
(murdurous thoughts are beginning to go through my head)

After a couple more exchanges back and forth, she finally understands that Winsock won't run under linux for some weird reason.

Me: "So, can I get an incident number so I can talk to a tech?"
T: "Sure - I just need to get some info from you..."

She gets down my name, room number, phone number, computer type and brand, then we get interesting again.

T: "Ok - so is this under Windows 3.1 or Windows '95?"
Me: "Neither - it's linux."
T: "Which type of Windows does it run under though?"
(I'm sharpening my axe now...)
Me: "Neither! It runs on it's own!"
T: "Oh!!! Oh! I'm sorry, in that case we can't help you. We only support Windows 3.1 and Windows '95."
Me: "WHAT?!?"
T: "Sorry - that's all we're currently supporting. Have a nice day."
<Click>

So, does anybody know where we hire these people? 8)