| Soups |
| | Dropped Egg Soup | | 1.75 |
| | *One Ton Soup | | 1.75 |
| | Hot & Scalding Soup | | 2.25 |
| | Ten Ingredients Water | | 3.25 |
| | Sweet and Salmonella Soup | | 2.95 |
| | *Chinese Fire Drill Soup | | 2.50 |
| | *Happy Bacteria Cup | | 2.50 |
|
| Appetizers |
| | Steam-Cleaned Dumplings | | 3.95 |
| | *Burn Your Tongue Platter | | 8.95 |
| | Barbecued Bear Ribs | | 6.30 |
| | *Scallion Cow Pancakes (For Two) | | 2.95 |
| | MSG With Orange Flavor | | 4.95 |
|
| Noodles |
| | *Cellophane Noodles with Styrofoam Peanuts | | 5.50 |
| | Cold Noodles in Sesame Sauce | | 3.50 |
| | Some Glum Noodles | | 8.25 |
| | No Fun Noodles | | 4.75 |
|
| Pork |
| | New Shoe Pork | | 6.75 |
| | Roasted Pork in Shriner Hat | | 6.95 |
| | Recently Shampooed Pork | | 6.95 |
| | Andrew Diced Pork | | 9.75 |
| | *Roast Pork Puppy Chow | | 7.25 |
| | *Porky Pig Cartoonese Style | | 7.50 |
| | Pork And Mindy | | 6.75 |
|
| Vegetables |
| | *Broccoli in Human Sauce | | 5.95 |
| | Shredded Documents with Peking sauce | | 5.25 |
| | *Bean Crud with Special Rotting Fungus | | 6.25 |
| | *Snow Shovel with Peas | | 7.75 |
| | Egg Neil Young Green Beans with Black Bean Sauce | | 4.95 |
| | Black Beans with Green Bean Suace | | 5.95 |
| | Eggplant Prepared Under Mysterious Circumstances | | 5.95 |
| | *Baby Corn with Adoption Papers | | 4.95 |
| | Vegetables with Tingling Horse Flavor | | 5.50 |
| | Vegetables with Green Bean Suace | | 5.95 |
|
| Poultry |
| | Sand Diego Chicken with Pin Tar | | 6.25. |
| | Battering Ram Chicken | | 6.25 |
| | Peeking Daffy Duck | | 7.50 |
| | *Lemon Pledge Chicken | | 6.25 |
| | Amazing Talking Chicken | | 8.75 |
| | *Tongue Licked Duck | | 7.50 |
| | Chicken & Grief | | 6.25 |
| | Duck Edwing Prepared in Questionable Taste | | 6.25 |
| | *Chicken Escaping With Wings | | 7.75 |
| | Mocked Duck | | 7.25 |
| | *General Schwarzkopf Chicken | | 6.75 |
| | Goofy Grinning Chicken | | 6.75 |
| | Innocent Bystander Chicken | | 6.25 |
| | Moo Goo Guy Williams | | 8.75 |
| | *Moo Goo Guy Molinari | | 8.25 |
| | Moo Goo Guy Pan & Teller in Disappearing Sauce | | 4.50 |
